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Silent   forces 

Gr^re   Renders.  r/;son 


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THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


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Silent  fonts 


Los  Angeleg,  California 

MCMXV 


Copyright,  1915,  by 
Grace  Henderson  Mathewson 

Published  February  1915 


Silent  5Force£f 


PANAMA  EXPOSITION. 

A  VALENTINE. 

A  BIRTHDAY. 

LOVE 

SILENCE. 

DOUBT. 

THE  PILGRIMAGE  OF  TWO  SOULS. 

MY  DREAM. 

THY  MOTHER 

NO  AGE. 

THE  VIOLETS. 

HOPE 

FAITH 

JILTED 

THE  SHADOWY  FOREVER. 

MARGUERITE. 

LIFE. 

FORSAKEN. 

DIFFICULTIES. 

THE  RED  ROSE. 

DISAPPOINTMENT. 

DECEMBER. 

CHRISTMAS. 

611103 


These  thoughts  I  send  to  you 

—who  understand. 

G.  H.  M. 


Dedicated  to  Mrs.  Phoebe  A.  Hearst  with 
appreciation  for  her  many  kindnesses  to  women, 

Here  stands  our  California 

In  royal  robes  of  our  loved  state; 

Proud  of  her  San  Diego  missions, 

All  smiling  as  we  celebrate. 

Her  flower  ivand  of  yellow  poppies 

She  waves  and  waves  above  her  strand, 

And  opens  wide  her  "Golden  Gate" 

To  friend  and  stranger  in  her  land. 

Arching  over  land  and  sky 
The  golden  glow  of  Sol's  grand  bow 
Sheds  color  and  radiance  on  fruits 
Mid  flowered  slopes  in  warmth  or  snow, 
Until  the  very  shadows  kiss 
Amid  the  fragrant  orange  groves, 
Whose  perfume  creeps  into  the  night, 
To  sleep  and  drowse  within  the  coves. 

The  wind  that  sighs  and  laughs  and  sings, 
And  dances  to  its  lute-like  strains, 
On  mountain  range  all  capped  with  snow; 
Through  wooded  dells  and  flowered  plains, 


Roaming  like  some  celestial  soul 
From  sunny  clime  to  snowy  peaks; 
And  blowing  fog  from  off  the  deep, 
On  San  Francisco  while  she  sleeps, 
With  wonders  filled  our  golden  state 
Stands  like  a  fairy  goddess — proud — 
With  beauty  blessed  and  halo  crowned, 
Her  birds  in  chorus  carols  loud 
The  welcome  in  their  prayer  and  song; 
From  seven  hundred  miles  they  throng; 
Hosannas  sing  in  varied  tunes, 
Upon  this  bright  and  glorious  morn. 

May  hopes  in  showers  and  blessings  rare 
Keep  from  each  heart  the  specter' (  Fear" — 
And  sunshine  days  be  first  and  last 
To  greet  each  guest,  and  you,  my  dear; 
Ring  out  your  welcome  and  your  praise, 
You  cloister  bells  of  missions  old, 
On  California's  peaceful  shores 
With  loving  blessings  manifold. 


THE  VALENTINE 

Perchance,  could  spider's  head  but  carry 

All  the  loving  thoughts  of  fairies, 

I'd  send  him  to  my  sweetheart's  room, 

To  spin  his  web  beyond  the  broom; 

Upon  the  web  should  sparkle  kisses, 

With  clinging  sighs  and  yearning  wishes, 

And  tied  with  true  love's  knot  should  be 

My  fancy's  love  on  bended  knee. 

A  silvered  woof  of  finest  thread 

He'd  spin  to  thee,  within  thy  bed, 

And  he  should  sing  a  pleading  song 

To  wake  thee — tho'  perchance,  'twere  wrong- 

Upon  the  earliest  ray  that  shines 

Of  the  dear  old  day — St.  Valentine's; 

And  near  thy  heart  I'd  have  him  kneel, 

And  bind  it  fast,  and  place  a  seal; 

And  when  thine  eyes  were  open,  dear, 

I'd  thrill  the  silvered  woof,  nor  fear 

To  turn  my  shrinking  fears  to  dares, 

And  whisper  soft  a  lover's  prayers. 


A  BIRTHDAY 

Afar  in  the  distance,  where  sight  can  not  reach 

O'er  the  myriad  grains  of  the  sands  of  the  beach, 

Countless  worlds  revolve  in  the  sky 

And  vast  creations  in  the  deep  ocean  lie. 

Out  into  space  the  eternal  Thought 

Afar  and  a-near  with  intelligence  sought 

The  heart  of  creation,  where  it  might  abide — 

To  serve  in  constructing  the  universe  wide. 

Into  the  vibration  of  Maternity's  hymn 

Thought  whirled  in  confusion  with  rhythm  and  din, 

Till,  clasped  in  the  arms  of  Life  and  Love 

These  three  great  powers  chanted  above 

In  the  blue  of  the  ether  through  the  ages  long, 

Till  the  whole  earth  responded  to  knowledge  in  the 
song. 

Wisdom,  understanding  from  knowledge,  awoke, 
And  spirit  and  mind  in  unison  spoke. 


Alas,  as  the  shadows  that  follow  the  sun, 

So  discord,  followed  close  upon 

The  harmony  of  knowledge,  spirit  and  mind, 

Giving  birth  to  experience,  sad  but  kind, 

Which  haunts  the  earth  with  the  sorrows  of  time. 

One  secret,  of  all  creation  sublime, 

Leaped  into  the  sovereignty  of  the  human  soul. 

Then  desire  came  with  liberty  that  foretold 

Of  the  Spirit  of  God  that  dwells  in  each  man, 

And  that  he  may  attain,  through  laws,  the  "I  AM." 

Create  for  thy  soul  the  kingdom  of  heaven 
Through  Harmony's  laws  and  the  rhythm  of  Seven. 
The  pulsation  of  Truth  un(bars  the  door. 


LOVE 

Out  from  the  ether's  silence, 

As  the  perfume  steals  from  the  flower, 

Just  a  thrill,  a  thought,  a  quiver, 

Such  a  breathless,  passionate  flutter 

Leaped  in  the  blood  of  my  heart; 

And  the  throbbing  of  such  an  emotion 

Sent  my  thoughts  just  raving  with  love; 

And  the  spirit  of  passionate  longing 

Reached  out  in  the  early  dawn. 

The  air  was  spicy  with  sweetness; 

The  flush  of  a  pink-colored  morn 

Was  kissing  the  dew  from  the  flowers, 

Just  as  my  spirit,  enraptured, 

Crept  close  to  your  silent  heart. 

My  fingers  were  trembling,  darling, 

My  heart  was  throbbing  with  pain, 

As,  knocking,  I  asked  to  enter 

The  life  of  all  lives  for  me, 

Where  the  soul  life  of  both  shall  be  quickened 

In  love 's  perfect  realm  of  thought. 


SILENCE 

My  heart  is  aching,  my  heart  is  cold, 

Its  love  lies  lifeless,  the  story  is  told. 

How  shall  I  struggle  through  all  the  years, 

And  bravely  smile  through  memory's  tears? 

How  shall  I  live  through  toil  and  care, 

So  tired  and  faint  with  the  cross  I  bearf 

Each  minute  of  day  is  a  grieving  mile, 

Without  thy  voice  or  thy  loving  smile. 

Today  I  delight  in  thy  trusting  heart, 

Tomorrow  it's  silent  in  its  grave  apart. 

Not  unremembered,  remote  and  afar, 

But  locked  in  the  cell  of  memory's  star; 

Into  the  drear,  dread  silence  I  cry, 

If  loving  were  vain  it  were  better  to  die. 

Can  God  have  decreed  it  in  heaven  so  vast 

That  earth's  sweet  love  can  never  outlast 

The  puzzling  and  sorrowful  problems  of  life, 

Of  our  desolate  lives  in  their  daily  strife  f 

For  who  could  be  happy  in  heaven  so  grand, 

If  love,  as  an  outcast,  must  wander  earth's  landf 

To  win  but  one  smile  from  his  sweet  loving  eyes, 

I  fancy  I'd  steal  from  the  blue  of  the  skies, 

And  close  to  my  heart  I  would  nestle  his  brow, 

To  whisper  it  then,  as  I  whisper  it  now, 

The  raptures  of  heaven  are  cheerless  and  drear, 

If  the  realm's  golden  portals  be  closed  to  thee,  dear 


DOUBT 

Misgiving  and  dismay  had  seized  me. 

I  walked  in  vaulted  ways, 

The  captive  of  a  horrid  dread, 

I  looked, — and  looked  upon  my  dead. 

A  pierced  and  shrieking  hope 
Begged  of  the  human  miseries, 
"Is  there  a  God?    Tell,  tell  me  this; 
Why  torture  me  with  thy  cold  kissf" 

A  ghost  without  a  heart — 

An  empty  dream  of  loss — 

This  longing,  throbbing,  praying  want, 

This  pallid  doom  so  gaunt. 

Creeping  doubts  in  mouldy  shrouds 
Wrestled  with  dismal  mystery. 
Ghastly  agonies  of  sickening  dread 
Slept  in  coffins  of  their  dead. 

Phantom  hands  their  woe  express, 
Beseeching  one — the  Ear  of  Mist — 
"Go  thou, — rest  in  terror's  tomb — 
Thou  strange  and  awful  gloom." 


THE  PILGRIMAGE  OP  TWO  SOULS 

God  sent  His  spirit  from  some  land, 

In  two  great  souls  to  live, 

And  through  the  ages  hand  in  hand 

Experience  led  them  on. 

Within  the  quickened  spirit  slept, 

Which  was  both  deaf  and  blind; 

But  from  the  silent  forces  round 

A  timid  thought,  but  kind, 

Touched  the  garment  of  a  hope, 

And  the  spirit  sighed. 

The  senses  wakened  from  their  sleep 

By  some  Earth-haunted  gleam; 

And  on  the  delicate,  vibrant  waves 

Of  thought,  Love  slept  and  dreamed. 

Time  watched  and  waited  o'er  these  souls, 

And,  from  their  life's  discord, 

Brought  music  of  grand  harmony 

That  led  them  to  their  Lord. 


MY  DREAM 

While  in  the  gray  of  dewy  eve, 

I  watched  the  ocean's  ebbing  tide; 
And  let  my  drifting  fancy  weave, 

A  dream  so  sweet  that  Cupid  sighed. 
At  first  I  woke  from  sleeping  sweet, 

By  fragrance  sent  from  blossoms  fair, 
I  lay  upon  some  mossy  seat, 

Where  sun  and  shadow  kissed  the  air. 
With  tender,  clinging  vines  was  shaped 

By  liberal  nature's  God-like  hand, 
A  bower  of  green,  in  garlands  draped, 

A  very  dell  in  fairy  land. 
The  bees  and  birds  in  concert  sang 

While  spiders  wove  their  silver  threads, 
And  floating,  dulcet  echoes  rang 

Through  lofty  trees,  whose  bending  heads 
Were  gay  with  Autumn's  red  and  gold. 

The  stately  golden  rod  grew  near; 
And  modest,  blushing  roses  told 

Their  tales  of  love  to  sweethearts  dear. 
The  roguish  little  elfin  winds 

Would  laugh,  and  sigh,  and  linger  yet — 
To  shake  my  roof  of  emerald  vines, 

Then  whisper  soft  their  fond  regret; 
But  wandering  Cupid  found  me  there 

And  waved  his  wand  of  secret  spells — 


A  longing  sadness  filled  the  air 

From  hopeless  hearts  of  mute  blue  bells. 
A  perfumed  hush  of  rare  delight 

Breathed  lulling  peace  o'er  shrubs  that  slept, 
And  dreams  on  pinions  of  the  night, 

Sobbed  out  their  drowsy  tales  and  wept. 
An  agitation  in  the  air 

Awoke  me  from  my  slumbers  light, 
A  cloud  of  blossoms  everywhere, 

Imprisoned  me  and  veiled  my  sight. 
Then  formed  from  out  the  petals  white, 

I  saw — my  dream,  my  own  dear  love, 
How  I  have  longed  from  morn  till  night — 

To  see,  to  speak,  to  touch  my  dove; 
I've  watched,  and  pined  for  thee,  my  sweet, 

I  plead  and  prayed,  and  sought  in  vain; 
Would  God  but  deign  to  let  us  meet, 

To  still  the  throbs  of  heart  and  brain. 
But  lo!  She  glides  to  me,  my  own, 

Her  pure  and  loving  lips  touch  mine; 
"Darling," — I  whisper — what  is't  I  hear? — 

Cold  blows  the  drear  and  grieving  wind, 
Thundering,  the  waves  break  at  my  feet, 

The  gathering  shadows  round  me  crowd — 
And  wake  me  from  my  vision  fleet. 

Poor  heart — thy  dream  lies  dead. 


THY  MOTHER 

When  thy  dear  mother  said  to  thee, 

"Forget  not  God,  and  pray  for  me, 

Thy  mother's  prayers  are  always  thine, 

And  God  grant,  son,  thy  prayers  be  mine," 

Didst  thou  then  dream  that  toil  and  strife 

Would  be  so  tangled  in  thy  life? 

That  good  intentions  go  with  fears 

And  sleepless  conscience  bathed  in  tears? 

Perchance  some  maid  with  artful  smile 

Hath  led  thee  many  a  thorny  mile; 

That  shining  days  lead  on  to  sorrows 

Through  dreary  trains  of  dark  to-morrows; 

Oft  leave  thee  sunken,  bruised  and  lame — 

Yet  fear  not,  friend,  for  God  is  love, 

Storms  black  beneath  are  bright  above; 

Hold  on,  dare  on,  undaunted  strive 

To  keep  the  spark  divine  alive. 

Through  suffering,  then,  thine  eyes  shall  see, 

And  every  manly  deed  shall  be 

A  means  of  strength  for  sterner  strife 

And  lead  from  high  to  higher  life. 

Go  where  you  may,  through  age  and  youth, 

Stand  fast,  stand  firm,  by  rigid  truth, 

Thy  mother's  voice  be  quick  to  hear, 

And  God  be  ever  with  thee,  dear. 


NO  AGE 

Old!    Don't  tell  me  years  can  make  me  old, 

My  soul  has  just  begun  to  live! 
Tears!    They're  to  my  spirit  golden  spheres, 

Or  gems,  strung  round  my  brow,  to  give 
Light,  where  else  would  be  eternal  night. 

Time!    What  though  he  marks  me  in  each  line 
And  sprinkles  silver  through  my  hair — 

Strong — I  feel  it  not.    I  only  long 
To  burst  my  bonds,  to  mount  in  air, 

To  blaze  my  soul  felt  beauty  on  your  gaze. 

Wings!  Would  some  kind  power  but  lend  me  wings 
Or  free  me  from  this  dross;  I'd  rise 

And  shine,  immortal  youth  and  beauty  mine; 
Revolving  in  the  upper  skies 

I'd  sing  with  all  the  morning  stars  that  ring 
Eternal  anthems  to  their  King. 


VIOLETS 

The  New  Year  came  to  both,  dear. 

She  brought  the  flowers  for  you, 
But  in  their  tender  calyx  lay 

For  me — their  tears  of  dew. 
Heard  you  their  whispered  words  f 

Spoke  soft  in  perfume's  lines 
They  rose  in  every  breath  you  breathed 

The  sweetest  thoughts  Love  finds. 
Perchance  you  only  saw  in  them 

The  flowers  you  love  the  best, 
And  sent  a  careless,  straying  thought 

To  nestle  on  their  breast. 
It  pained  the  trusting  violets 

And  filled  their  eyes  ivith  dew — 
The  bending  heads  of  hungry  blue — 

But  lived  in  dreams  of  you. 
The  loving  thoughts  flew  back  to  me 

And  veiled  their  heads  from  view, 
Forgotten,  dimmed  their  faded  eyes, 

Their  life  they  gave  for  you. 


HOPE 

Hope  is  a  glimmer,  a  shimmer,  a  gleam  of  a  ray. 
To  trust  in  hope  is  the  cheer  we  cherish  each  day, 

Is  ihe  heart  filled  with  sunshine  of  confidence,  fervent 
and  clinging, 

Of  promising,  rose-colored  thought  or  desire  that  is 

winging, 

Which  forms  out  of  wishes 
A  lialo  encircling  all  thought. 


FAITH 

Faith  is  the  essence  of  the  oneness  of  all. 
The  secret  of  growing  that  lies  in  a  seed 
Is  a  chemical  transit  evolved  from  pure  faith, 
Like  the  kernel  of  truth  that  quickens  each  soul. 

JILTED 

The  day's  depressing  hours  have  passed, 
And,  gathering  in  the  gloom  of  eve, 

My  fainting  hopes  seem  dying  fast; 

I,  kneeling,  pray  to  ask  but  leave 

To  sol)  my  life  away  in  tears. 

If  God  would  still  my  aching  heart 
And  turn  thy  heart  to  me  in  thought, 

I'd  pierce  thy  love  as  by  a  dart, 
Until  within  thy  pain  thou  sought 
My  comfort  and  my  tears. 

Ah!  weary  is  the  heart  that  sighs — 

A  bride  to  love  unkissed — 
Whose  dying  hopes  eternal  cry, 

Whose  tears,  like  seas  of  mist, 

Enshroud  my  love's  lone  grave. 


THE  SHADOWY  FOREVER 

Your  picture  is  lying  before  me, 
And  1  look  in  the  depths  of  your  eyes; 
I  search  for  something  that's  missing, 
That  something  that  dreamingly  sighs. 
The  pain  of  eternally  guessing, 
And  the  yearning  and  pleading  of  love, 
Is  time  that  is  passing  and  grieving; 
And  the  hope  that  I  crave  from  above 
Stands  mute  in  a  dreary  forever. 


MARGUERITE 

Dear  Marguerite: 

All  life  is  sweeter  far 
Because  God  made  thy  petaled  star. 
You  grow  in  silent  peace  and  grace, 
No  envy  dims  thy  flower  face. 
From  out  your  golden  heart  doth  flow 
Rich  perfume,  on  thy  fringe  of  snow. 
You  smile  in  sun,  you  smile  in  shower, 
You  cheerful,  grateful  little  flower. 
Your  face  is  bright  with  hope  and  love, 
Because  some  angel  from  above 
Has  told  you  of  a  secret  joy. 


LIFE 

Every  life  has  had  its  fusses, 
Circumstances  seem  such  musses. 
For  you  and  I  have  had  our  crosses 
With  so  many,  many  losses. 
Life  for  some  is  serpent's  hisses: 
Life  for  some  is  smiles  and  kisses. 

Let  our  minutes  dressed  in  prayers, 
Bravely  tread  through  hours  of  cares; 
And  our  hopes,  with  sunshine  fraught, 
Crowd  depression  from  our  thought. 


FORSAKEN 

Far  out  across  the  vast  beyond  I  stand — 

I  trace  the  foot-prints  of  my  years  of  life, 
Scarce  can  I  tell  the  place  I  trod  the  sand — 

Yet,  heavy  was  each  step  from  worldly  strife. 
Not  e'en  the  echo  of  my  tired  cry 

Can  reach  across  the  darkened  path  of  death, 
And  in  the  darkness  all  alone  I  sigh. 

I  can  not  voice  a  message  through  life's  breath. 
The  perfume  of  a  flower  drifts  on  the  breeze, 

The  flow'r's  face  is  sad  and  white — forsaken. 


DIFFICULTIES 

Perhaps  you  have  had  a  mixed  interview, 

From  which  your  feelings  are  considerably  askew; 

And  just  as  you're  vanishing  out  of  the  door, 
Your  umbrella — just  spiteful — has   dropp'd  on   the 
floor. 

When  stooping,  the  draught  from  the  open  door  rushes, 
And  off  goes  your  hat,  notwithstanding  your  blushes, 

And  you  scramble  and  tumble  and  hit  your  bent  elbow, 
While  your  eyes  see  the  stars  and  the  colors  of  the 
rainbow. 

Your  temper  flies  with  it,  and  then,  in  a  stew, 
The  flush  on  your  brow  is  all  beaded  with  dew. 

— As  a  friend,  I  advise,  the  best  course  to  pursue 
Is  to  swallow  quite  hard  and  bow  your  adieu. 


THE  RED  ROSE 

Within  the  dainty  petals  of  the  rose, 

A  mist  of  golden  pollen  from  each  rose, 

And  from  the  loving  cup  of  calyx  green 

Fairy  love  drank  of  the  dew  between; 

The  perfumed  stamens  of  each  perfect  flower 

That  blossomed  mid  the  green  of  garden  bower, 

You  dearest  fairy  blessing  of  mankind — 

The  people  sometimes  call  you  madly  blind — 

History  tells  of  all  the  roses  red, 

Some  have  died,  were  crushed,  or  bled; 

But  the  rose  of  love  is  blooming  still 

That  no  snow  or  frost  of  life  can  kill. 

Our  fairy  love  is  in  the  rose  asleeping 

If  our  deeds  and  thoughts  are  in  God's  keeping. 

'Tis  true  the  story  of  the  roses  red 

Where  the  radiance  of  God's  light  is  shed. 


DISAPPOINTMENT 

A  web  of  mistakes  I  have  woven, 
And  the  pain  of  grieving  regret 
Vibrates  its  delicate  meshes, 
Till  I  long, — how, — /  long  to  forget. 

My  heart  is  dreary,  with  aching, 
My  hopes  are  stifled  with  dread, 
A  cycle  of  misty  intentions 
Surround  the  graves  of  my  dead. 


DECEMBER 

It  is  December,  cold  and  drear, 
The  oldest  month  of  all  the  year; 

And  from  his  cloak  of  glist'ning  snow, 
He  lifts  his  hand,  and  bending  low, 

He  smiles  upon  the  Christmas  cheer 

And  leaves  God's  blessing  with  you,  dear. 


"Christmas" 


In  the  gray  of  the  early  dawn 
Before  the  day  is  fairly  born, 
Creep  glad  cadences  and  the  swells 
From  waking  birds  and  mission  bells. 
God  is  Love. 

For  the  Christmas-tide  is  born 
Amid  the  glories  of  this  morn, 
Bringing  greetings,  blessings,  peace, 
To  still  the  aching  in  our  hearts, 
And  the  toil  and  strife  shall  cease. 
God  is  Love. 

From  the  olden  mission  bells 
Each  life's  story  tells  and  tells 
Of  the  joys  and  grieving  sorrows 
Born  each  day — uncertain  morrows  f 
God  is  Love. 


Coming  from  the  powers  above. 
Is  a  wealth  of  wondrous  love 
Surrounding  each  and  every  life 
Bringing  harmonies  out  of  strife. 
God  is  Love. 

Blessings  tell  ye  brazen  bells 
From  the  mountain  peaks  and  dells, 
For  the  spirit — sleeping  man — 
Love  has  broken  his  cruel  ban. 
God  is  Love. 


THE  LIBRARY 
UNIVERSITY  C  :-  ORNIA 


PS 
3525 

M426s 


